I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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