told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
