i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize