Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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