What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I will be naked everywhere
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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