I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize