M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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