Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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