Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
