well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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