ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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