Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
