tell your sister to shave her snatch
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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