every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I said "one day" and that day is not today
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
