What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
wow bdsm is so cute
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
