I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
