And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
