I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
