i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
