you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
