he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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