Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
