i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
