Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
