We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
