why didn't you poke me back
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
