don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize