youre lurking in front of me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
