why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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