therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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