i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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