i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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