Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
