There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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