Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
