Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
