Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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