We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
