If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
