And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
