I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize