I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
