Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
this is an emotional support booty call
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
