Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
