I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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