Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize