There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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