I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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