You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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