Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
