making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
