don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
