WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
