We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
