I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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