are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
