Kiss
Puke
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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