My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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