Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
