whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
