I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
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