You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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