She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
