the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
