I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
