watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
