i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize