Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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