She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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