I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
honey bunches of taint.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
