she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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